Rethinking Your Beliefs Can Lead To A More Fulfilling Life
Not doing so can do lead to pitfalls
Hey Friends,
Yesterday, something odd happened.
I’m walking through Victoria Square, Birmingham, towards the gym. Despite pulling the tendon in my finger from bouldering, motivation courses through my veins to curl some iron. I bob and weave my way through the crowd that has gathered to watch the commonwealth games. The atmosphere is electric.
Suddenly, two guys block my path.
“Excuse me, hi, what’s your name?” one guy asks.
Being caught off guard, my hand curls up. The adrenaline starts to seep into my muscles. I watch him carefully. My brain tells me to get ready for any potential funny business.
“My name is Jason,” I tell him calmly, “How can I help you?”
“Do you believe in faith?” he gently replies.
I smile at them. My brain relaxes as the world feels safe again.
“Depends on what you mean by faith?”
For the next 30 minutes, the two guys and I discuss religion, philosophy and theology. I enquire about their story and listen deeply to their born-again faith.
As I walk away, it occurs to me how over the last few years, my stance on religion has changed.
I grew up in a catholic household. When I turned 15, I began to dislike religion. It made no sense to me. It seemed stupid and irrational. You couldn’t prove it with science. What baffled me the most was how anyone could be deluded enough to follow an all-seeing, all-hearing, all-loving dude in the sky.
I’m not so vehemently against religion anymore. Even if it seems irrational, it has a few benefits, which I can not deny.
Religious people tend to commit fewer crimes, have fewer divorces and have greater life satisfaction. If this came in a pill, we would all be scrambling to take it.
Religious beliefs may not serve me, but they may serve other people. And who am I to think I’m righteous enough to determine what people should or shouldn’t believe?
The point of this story isn’t about me trying to convince you God exists. Whether you do or don’t, that’s your belief. I’m not here to challenge that.
The real point of this story is, when was the last time you rethought a deeply held belief?
An uncertain world
“We question all our beliefs, except for the ones that we really believe in, and those we never think to question.” - Orson Scott Card
Beliefs are ideas that serve us to help create meaning in a complex world. They make the world seem stable.
But the problem can occur when we cherish our beliefs with too much pride. We don’t bother to question them until it’s too late.
As someone who lives in the abyss of uncertainty, having “strong opinions, held loosely” allows you to be flexible and adaptable to the ever-changing environment. It’s an important meta-concept to allow us to thrive in the modern world.
“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” - Charles Darwin
I get why we don’t like to challenge our beliefs:
We like to take the path of least resistance.
It’s bloody scary.
It’s admitting to ourselves that the facts may have changed. What was once something you believed was right may now be wrong. It violates our identity, and the world seems more unpredictable.
Rethinking is essential for your growth.
I’ve read a lot of these self-help books, and the main takeaway is to do things that make you grow. Being uncomfortable is essential for growth.
And do you know what is uncomfortable? Rethinking your beliefs.
Questioning your beliefs doesn’t necessarily mean changing them. But it can help you identify where, when and from whom you first learned these beliefs.
For example, when I get stressed, I think about how I can spend more time working to solve the problem.
When did I learn this? When I was 10, I went through an intense period of studying for my 11+ exam (entrance exam for grammar schools in the UK). I was practising every breathable hour for 7 days a week, a whole year straight.
Who did I learn this from? My parents. Growing up, I’ve watched them work incredibly hard on the takeaway business to provide for my brothers and me. 12-hour days, six days a week. It’s why when the going gets tough, my first response is to grit my teeth, dig my heels in and see things through.
But rethinking this, I learned it’s possible to work hard and conserve your energy. Now my response to stress is to either meditate or go for a walk. Sounds counterintuitive, I know, but it gives me space and perspective to be more effective.
Some beliefs may no longer serve you, and it’s important to let go of the ones that don’t. What got you here may not get you where you need to go.
How To Rethink Your Beliefs
Ask yourself:
When did I first start believing X?
Who taught me X?
Did I ever question this or seek to educate myself on the issue from various sources?
What would it mean if you changed your mind?
Have I ever discussed this issue with someone who disagrees or sees it in a different way?
It takes courage to reconsider our past beliefs, doubts to question the present, and curiosity to rethink our future plans. But rethinking can lead us to discover new things, develop our knowledge and free us from our former selves. It’s a tool for leading us towards a more fulfilling life.
And so I ask of you: What deeply held belief do you need to rethink?
— Jason Vu Nguyen